Never Too Late

Hey there ! 

        Well some of you might know that i have issues with my mental heath , i have depression, and for 2 years in a row i'm on medication but i still have bad times,and times when i want to kill myself. Not because i'm unhappy just because i feel that i can't be loved i guess , and nobody loves me and even if i would do everything for a boy he would play with my heart just how it happened this Monday .                                                                                     I was at a party because i was volunteering for a week and at the end of the week we had a party and my boy, i mentioned him not long ago in a post, was there and i was like : you know what i'm going to tell him that i love him but surprising he came to me and he told me that he loves me but we can't be together and i said : well okey i i understand you and everything and stuff and then i kissed him and then he kissed me for a long time and then i leaved .             I was shattered my heart was in pieces and it's in pieces still , and i'm unhappy and i don't want to live only hope and faith in God keeps me going and the saddest thing is that today was the first day since months maybe years i cut myself and it felt so good and i want more and more and more .

I just don't know what to do ....

Pain, without love

Pain, can't get enough 

Pain, i like it rough 

Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all ...